A Little Fall of Rain
by Chione
Summary: Kagome makes a decision. "For Inuyasha's sake, Kikyou even abandoned her life. I can't compete with that at all" -Kagome, Manga, Vol. 18
1. Drink With Me To Days Gone By

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. Belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. I'm merely borrowing her lovely characters cause I love em.  
  
A Little Fall of Rain  
  
by Chione  
  
------------------------------------------------  
  
_Don't you fret, Monsieur Marius  
I don't feel any pain  
A little fall of rain  
Can hardly hurt me now  
You're here, that's all I need to know  
And you will keep me safe  
And you will keep me close  
And rain,  
Will make the flowers grow. . ._  
  
---------------------------------------------------  
  
As if I were such a terrible person...  
  
For Inuyasha's sake, Kikyou even abandoned her life.  
I can't compete with that at all.  
  
It's not a question of making a choice, is it. There was a person right in front of me who I could save, and was told that I was the only person who could save you, of course I would save you.  
  
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Inuyasha was trapped in the tangled mass of limbs and tentacles that made up Naraku's body. Kikyou and I were the only ones close enough, her on one side and me on the other as the arrow fired back at him. I don't know which of us shot it, but Kanna's mirror had done the trick and sent it back, right to our hanyou. I felt a brief moment of déja vu as I glanced to see Kikyou's move. She turned her head, just enough to look him in the eye.  
_  
_At the same moment, I lurched forward. Maybe Kikyou could stand by and let him die, because isn't that what she'd wanted all along? To be with him? But I couldn't. Not yet, and not like this. I had never planned on stepping in their way, I swore I would let Inuyasha be with her! But not like this! I couldn't just let them be together, even in death, if his soul would never rest. And I knew it wouldn't, just like I knew Inuyasha would always chose her over me. That was okay, as long as he's happy, I don't care who he choses.  
  
I won't let him spend the rest of eternity knowing he never succeeded in avenging Kikyou's death.  
  
Even if I had to die to do it, I would.  
  
So as the arrow pierced the thin cotton of my blouse, and then my skin and all the pain I'd ever felt came rushing back in a single breath, I had only one regret.  
  
That I'd never told him the truth. I knew he was well aware of my feelings, but I'd never even _said _them to him. Instead, all I could do was gaze up at him with the knowledge that, at last, I had proved my love for him to be as strong as Kikyou's.  
  
I heard him call my name, distantly. And I realized, this was it. This time I would die, and no potion, no magic, no herbs could bring me back. I was dying and I'd done it for him. In my mind, I could see my mother and Souta, and Grandpa crying when I didn't come back. They'd never know the way I died, nor would my friends Yuka, Eri, Ayumi, and even Hojou. No one would ever know but my friends, my family, in this time. They would assume I succumbed to a disease, a totally laughable one that no teenager could ever have, but they'd believe it, and mourn because I would never come back.  
  
And my poor little Shippou-chan. He'd be an orphan again, though I knew beyond doubt he would be cared for by Sango and Miroku, and perhaps their own children too.  
  
He breathed my name again, softly and if I could see a little better, I'm certain his eyes would be bright with unshed tears, and concern. He gave my shoulder a tiny shake, not enough to jar my injury but enough that I could feel it vibrate throughout my body, a silent plea not to let go. I didn't want to leave him, I never meant to. I would never voluntarily take away another person he cared for, but I could no longer feel the heat of my wound, the pain in my battered feet, nor the warmth of his hands on my shoulders.  
  
Naraku chuckled in the background of my senses, and dimly I was aware of the complete Shikon clutched in his fist. Even dying, it's glow was bright in my eyes, it's presence formidable in my mind. It looked so pure, and warm, and for the first time I could see what drew so many to it's power. I gazed at it, surrounded by Naraku's miasma and all of his evil youki, and still it was beautiful, and calming. At least, in the end, I had completed my task here. And I could die, knowing that I hadn't let Inuyasha down.  
  
The Shikon no Tama was whole again, and I had every confidence in Inuyasha's ability to defeat Naraku. The jewel will be purified, if not by my hands than by Kikyou's, and Inuyasha will get his wish. Either human or demon, it didn't matter. It was his choice, and I'd given it to him to make.  
  
I could just barely see his golden eyes, not detailed but still there, in the darkness sweeping my vision. Was he crying? I couldn't tell. He gripped me tightly in his arms, against the rough fur of his haori, calling out my name in desperation. I wanted to reach up to him, tell him I love him, and not to be sad. My mirror image--with slightly straighter hair, I suppose and yes, a more mature, beautiful face, I suppose too--peered at me over his shoulder, and beside her, the faces of my friends. My dear, cherished friends. Sango-chan. Miroku-sama. Shippou-chan. Kouga-kun. Even Rin-chan knelt beside me, her tiny hand grasping my own.  
  
I didn't want to leave them. Least of all him.  
  
Not to be ungrateful, I was surprised at Naraku for simply watching us. Not interfering, or taunting, or attacking while we were weak. He just watched, and laughed at Inuyasha's pleas, Shippou's cries, and the wailing of Kouga's pack.  
  
A sharp intake of breath from Inuyasha alerted me that something was off. I didn't understand until the sharp edge of the Tenseiga--for what other sword could stab through the flesh, but leave behind no cut?--bear down upon me. It's edges sought out the soul collectors, and I heard their cries. The bright light of it's healing power cleansed me.  
  
But I knew something was wrong. Blood continued to soak my school uniform with it's too short skirt, and my senses were ever diminishing to a dull ache, a throb that lessened with each passing moment. My breath was more raspy, even to my ears, and it _hurt_, it hurt so badly, to breathe just the smallest bit.  
  
It hadn't worked. For whatever reason beyond my control, the Tenseiga wasn't able to save me. I was still dying.  
  
Why? Was it something I'd done, that I couldn't be brought back? Was there some reason I couldn't be healed?  
  
My thoughts blurred. I could no longer hold onto consecutive thoughts, ones that followed one another and made sense. They were scattered images and memories, of all sixteen years of my life, which seemed so very long as they were passing, and now were only that: memories. My entire life in just sixteen years. I knew it. And I did not regret it at all. I made my decision when I jumped between Inuyasha and that arrow. The choice was made, and I can't turn back from that. Even as I began to miss what I would never see again, never get to do or see, I couldn't imagine having made the other choice.  
_  
_So I smiled, weakly I have no doubt, and it took every bit of strength, effort and sheer willpower I had left or had ever had, to do it. But as my friends around me shed their tears, and tried impossibly hard to return my smile, I could only stare in awe at the wonderful people I'd come to know. I prayed that wherever I ended up, I would always be allowed to watch over them.  
  
Inuyasha. He held me close, even though I could feel how soaked his haori had become. Drenched in my blood. He tried to pull the arrow out, anything to save me, but it was too late. You don't get run through with an arrow and live.  
  
Especially if that arrow hits your lung.  
  
I could vaguely feel it. A peculiar sensation I knew was drowning, but it was not like drowning while you swim. It was from the inside. It didn't burn my throat. It just felt almost--sticky, the breath in my lungs. Yes. Sticky.  
  
I was drowning to death in my own blood.  
  
Why did it have to drag on? I should've been dead so many moments ago, and yet I clung on to this miserable, desperate phenomenon. It seemed like hours since I chose.  
  
The time was growing near. I sensed it, ironically very similar to the sense of a Shikon fragment. And soon, I could feel the hands of the spirit world pulling on my hands and hair and legs, bringing me only closer to themselves. In one last attempt to say goodbye, to soothe him, I dredged my hand up from where it had fallen. It was all I could do to flick a finger, much less lift the whole hand to his face but I pushed every drop of persistence and strength and love and everything I had into the muscles in my arm. Just one little brush of his flesh and mine. It really wasn't so very far, why couldn't I just _touch_ him?  
  
My fingertips, scarcely the tips of my fingernails, grazed his cheek. His smooth, tanned cheek that I'd miss so much. There was so much I'd miss. So much to miss. So much I wanted still.  
  
I wanted to see Sango and Miroku's marriage.  
  
I wanted to see their children.  
  
I wanted to be there for Shippou's first love, first kiss, first everything as he grows.  
  
I wanted to see Kouga and Ayame together, happy. For him to move on from me.  
  
I wanted Sesshomaru to admit he cares for Rin-chan, to see her and help her grow. She'll be needing the advice of a woman soon.  
  
I wanted my mother to see my children, her grandchildren, with their fuzzy, white ears she so loves.  
  
I wanted to tease Souta at his wedding rehearsal, with embarrassing stories of his bed wetting or anything else I could think of at the last minute.  
  
I wanted to be a mother, one day. Maybe even mother to Inuyasha's pups. That's what he would call them, I suppose.  
  
I wanted him to love me, but I understand.  
  
I wanted to tell him, at the very least.  
  
I wanted him to be happy. And really, that's all I ask.  
  
I want-  
  
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_  
But you will live Ponine, Dear God above  
If I could close your wounds with words of love. . .  
  
Just hold me now, and let it be  
Shelter me, Comfort me. . .  
  
You would live a hundred years  
If I could show you how  
I won't desert you now. . .  
  
The rain can't hurt me now  
This rain, wash away what's passed  
And you will keep me safe  
And you will keep me close  
I'll sleep in your embrace, at last. . .  
  
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I've decided that I am going to write more of this and the second chapter should be out soon. I just revised this real quick, and added the lyrics from A Little Fall of Rain, from the musical _Les Misérables_.  
  
And remember this is from Kagome's POV, so things are the way I feel she sees them, not necessarily how they really are.  
  
The quotes at the beginning are from the manga translations, various chapters in various volumes. I felt that they portray the very core of Kagome's character, and perhaps what sets her apart from Kikyou. And FYI, I don't hate Kikyou. I will never bash her. Ever.  
  
Oh and whaddya think: I've got an idea for another Inuyasha story. I haven't written it yet, I'm working on it right now, but here's the basic concept:  
  
What would happen if Kagome's worst fears came true? It's called Reincarnation.'  
  
That's all I'm sayin' cause I don't want anyone to steal the idea or anything until I get to write it.  
  
Tell me if you think you'd be interested in reading it!  
  
Review, please?


	2. Sing With Me The Songs We Knew

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. Wish I did, but I don't. It belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. I'm just borrowing the characters for my own amusement and entertainment, and that of my readers. And cause I just love em!  
  
I love this song . . . if you have it, I would suggest listening to it while reading this. It's what I wrote it to. And what it was inspired by. A Little Fall of Rain, from _Les Misérables._  
  
A Little Fall of Rain  
  
by Chione  
  
--------------------------------------  
_  
The rain that brings you here,  
Is heaven blessed  
The skies begin to clear  
And I'm at rest  
A breath away  
From where you are  
I've come home,  
From so far. . ._  
  
--------------------------------------  
  
More than anything, I remember the light. It's the most asinine thing, the biggest cliché in history but it's true. I suppose all clichés have to come from somewhere right?  
  
It wasn't so beautiful that I could do nothing but walk to it. I think really, it was frightening. I knew what it was. Nirvana. Heaven. Hell. Valhala. Or the next life. But I was not compelled toward it. In fact, the only thing I could think of was a question. Ludicrous. Absolutely infuriating to the point that I _wanted_ to walk into the bloody light if only to get back at myself for thinking it.  
  
Is this what Kikyou saw, when she died?  
  
I hoped so. I hope her death was as pleasant as mine. Well, as pleasant as a death can be. I couldn't feel much pain, not after a bit. And I was surrounded by those I loved. My sister, my friend however perverted he may be, my love, my son. What more could anyone ask for? I was a little young, but that's okay. Because I died for something worthwhile. Some_one_ worthwhile. Kikyou once told me that we always had a choice whether or not to save a person. And I think, this time, I _did_ chose. But it was as much a choice as breathing. Technically, I could stop, but who would want to? Who would try? And after a short time, you can't help but breath again. It's your instincts.  
  
I stepped forward. There wasn't anywhere else to go, really. It was that or stay here in limbo forever. I smiled. I missed everyone already and I wanted nothing more than to blink, to wake up in my sleeping bag with Inuyasha watching over me as I slept, only to leapt back and give a when I'd call him on it. Or maybe waking up in my own bed, Inuyasha sticking his head in my window with a grumble about getting up so we could chase after some shard or rumor. Or Souta could be waking me up, because Inuyasha was giving me a break for a test that day.  
  
They were childish hopes, I knew, but I didn't care. Everyone's allowed to be childish sometimes, ne?  
  
Another step. Another few feet away from my life, the people I was leaving behind. It was so easy to walk into the afterlife. But I drug my feet anyway, I didn't want to let go just yet. In my head I could hear Inuyasha, shouting as he had so many times, Wait for me, Kagome! Every time I was kidnapped, or something happened, that's what he's say as he was rushing to my rescue. My ears imagined hearing him again, this time to save me from death.  
  
I giggled. It was all so childish and absurd, but I was okay with that. It helped me lift my feet for each progressing step.  
  
Then suddenly there was a weight on my shoulder that shouldn't have been there. A hand. The five fingered pressure weighing me down to whatever was beneath me. I turned, slowly. I half expected some invisible force to prevent the pivoting of my heels. But nothing. I pivoted on my heels, until my back faced the welcoming light of the afterlife.  
  
And for a moment, I actually believed Inuyasha had found a way to bring me back.  
  
Staring down at me was a man with the same flowing, silver hair, and the same golden eyes I loved. He wore armor much like Sesshomaru's, and shared the same facial tattoos Inuyasha gains during his full youkai moments. But unlike Sesshomaru, and unlike Inuyasha, his face was gentle. Comforting and warm. More refreshing than what lay behind me.  
  
He was Inuyasha's father. Inu-Taisho, former Demon Lord of the Western Lands. There was no one else he could be.  
  
And he was smiling at me.   
  
I didn't bother wondering how or why he knew my name. Enough weird things have happened in my lifetime that it didn't even cross my mind. Instead my shoulders drooped and I let go of all the tension accumulating in my body. I was tired. All of the sudden, I couldn't wait for rest, even if I had to walk into the light. I was so tired. Of everything. Waiting for Inuyasha, taking tests, making excuses, watching Miroku hurt Sango and visa versa, seeing Shippo forced to grow up because of our unusual circumstances. Why couldn't I just make it all better? Make it all go away? And then take a nice, long nap without worries or jewel shards.  
  
It felt like the weight of the world was resting on my eyelids but I couldn't ever close them because then everything would shatter on the floor. I wanted to, now. Now that the pain and exhaustion of my death was creeping up on me, now that everything was out of my hands and into those of the living. Still they wouldn't fall. I still couldn't let go just yet.  
  
Kagome, I must thank you. He spoke as I had assumed he would. Regal, full of self-assurance, but gentle enough that he wasn't frightening; he seemed like the perfect father figure. I wished he had been there for Inuyasha. It would've made his life so much easier. So much happier. You have given my son what no one else ever has since his mother and I passed on. Unconditional love.  
  
Had I? It seemed pretty conditional to me. I left him when he ran off with Kikyou, I couldn't always forgive him right away for hurting me with his words. I let jealousy get the better of me, when the baby Naraku searched my heart for darkness, giving him the leverage he needed to control me. I promised him I'd always be by his side, but I wouldn't follow him and Kikyou to Hell. Not that he asked me to, but if he did. . .  
  
I died for him, isn't that the same thing?  
  
You swore to remain at his side. Inu-Taisho narrowed his eyes, no longer reflecting the kind aura of before. Rather, he glared down at me, almost challenging. Are you going to give up now? Break your oath? I suppose my elder son was correct, if that is the case. Humans are too weak.  
  
My hackles rose. So much for first impressions. His accusations pushed something inside of me. Of course I didn't want to leave Inuyasha. I didn't want to leave any of them, but I really had no say so. It's not like I can avoid death. Even Kikyou couldn't do that. I shouted, I didn't just give up! I kept my promise as long as I could, but not even a full demon can hold off death! I died to save his life! I didn't leave him because I _wanted _to! I was crying. Sobbing with each breath, my hands flinging about in wild gestures to get him to understand. I wanted him to believe me. He was Inuyasha's father. He was all the company I had, and I was lonely, and tired. So very tired.  
  
Why was I so weary? I hadn't been until now. I was DEAD. I didn't have a body to wear out, and wasn't death known as the final rest'?  
  
You are weary because you were not meant to die as you did. You're spirit will remain depleted until it returns to the living world, where it belongs. His harshness had worn off, and once again he watched me with--compassion? It was unusual coming from those golden eyes. Never had either of his sons shown me that look.  
  
It was easy enough to guess I wasn't supposed to die when I did. I was young. But would I have to wait until I was reincarnated to shake off this fatigue? Or could I somehow return to life? Is it possible? Without becoming like Kikyou?  
  
You are a miko. You are more powerful than you know, than you can imagine. Like that answered all my unspoken questions. I knew that. But he smiled at me, mischievous. And I knew where Inuyasha had gotten his teasing side from. He did have one, though most people couldn't see it for what it was. Don't give up on my son. If I could, I would show you what Inuyasha feels, holding your body in his arms, unable to do anything but scream. I wish you could hear what I can; he cries for you.  
  
He cries for me? I asked. His smile waned, and he nodded. Then he vanished, and I was alone again.  
  
I fell to my knees, not feeling any pain as they collided with the nonexistent ground. There wasn't one, really, just air that I could stand on and the reflection of the light behind me. Actually, I was just air. Maybe a little emotion, but mostly air. I was just a spirit. I wanted so badly to go back. To see everyone, once more. Just once and I could deal with this.  
  
I'd never give up on him. Maybe I've come close in the past, but I wouldn't ever really do it. I love him to much. I think I could forgive him to, for anything. I've been told I'm too forgiving for my own good, but I don't believe that's possible. There's too many unforgiving people in the world, and I figured if I could just give a little more of it to the world, my life would have some purpose and meaning. Yuka always said to me that I was wasting myself on people who could never appreciate my kindness. Don't fall for someone who won't catch you, she'd say. Particularly in regards to my two-timing, jealous, violent on-and-off again boyfriend.' In other words, Inuyasha.  
  
But he did catch me. Even if he always sets me back on my feet afterwards, that's not what matters.  
  
What matters is that he caught me when I fell. And that makes everything worth it.  
  
I glanced around me once more, hoping for another visitor, or someone--anyone--to tell me what to do next. Where to go.  
  
But there was no one.  
  
I didn't want to be alone.  
  
I didn't want Inuyasha to be alone. I never meant for him to cry.  
_  
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Hush-a-bye, dear Eponine  
  
Don't you fret, Monsieur Marius  
  
You won't feel any pain  
  
I don't feel any pain  
  
A little fall of rain  
  
A little fall of rain  
  
Can hardly hurt you now  
  
Can hardly hurt me now  
  
I'm here  
  
You're here, that's all I need to know. . .  
  
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_And that's all folks! For chapter two, anyway. This could get long. But oh well. I love this song . . . if you have it, I would suggest listening to it while reading this. It's what I wrote it to. And what it was inspired by. A Little Fall of Rain, from _Les Miserables._  
  
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE REVIEWS! I LOVE YOU ALL! Please review some more and tell me what you think of this chapter. They will get the next chapter out quickly-er. Erm, that's not a word. But whatever. REVIEW! PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE!  
  
Bye bye for now!  
Chione


	3. To The Life That Used To Be

A Little Fall of Rain  
  
by Chione_  
  
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And you will keep me safe  
  
I will stay with you til you are sleeping  
  
And you will keep me close  
  
And rain will make the flowers grow  
  
And rain will make the flowers. . .  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
_The light went out. I didn't have any idea what it meant, but it made things even worse. I couldn't see anything. It wasn't like being blind, at least then you have no concept of sight. I could still comprehend what my eyes were telling my brain. It was just black. The deepest, darkest, truest black I'd ever seen. Not even my hand could be seen, if I held it up until it touched the end of my nose.  
  
I wanted to scream.  
  
Why had I waited? Why hadn't I just walked into the light like a good little ghost and been done with this?  
  
Part of me answered, immediately. _Because you want to live. You're not ready to go yet._  
  
A lot of good that's doing me. Wanting to live. Shoulda thought of that before I dove in front of an arrow.  
  
I smacked myself, literally. No one was around to see it, after all. I would not allow myself to become bitter. I died because I love him, and gladly gave my life for his. I would NOT become corrupt. I would NOT hate him, nor anyone else for this.  
  
I would not become the next Kikyou.  
  
But that didn't mean I enjoyed being dead. Quite the contrary, I wanted to sleep and was frustrated to find that, apparently, spirits can't. I was tired, lonely, frightened, and sad. And it was so dark. Any reprieve was welcome.  
  
Oh Inuyasha. I whispered, pressing my head to my knees. I wanted so badly to see him again. Please don't be sad for me. Kick Naraku's monkey ass, I giggled helplessly, And be happy. If you feel you must, go with Kikyou to hell, but you don't belong there. I wish--oh, I wish I could see you again. To tell you in person. I love you, as you are now. The hanyou Inuyasha. A rude, stubborn, arrogant jerk who saved my life so many times. Don't ever change who you are. Don't try to be someone or something you're not. But-but if you do, know that I love you no matter who you become, no matter what you look like. You're so very precious to me, I couldn't bear to see you die. I don't regret saving you, Inuyasha. I won't ever.That's awfully kind of you. Are you certain we know the same hanyou Inuyasha? a woman's soft voice startled me as she approached. I couldn't see her, but knew well enough she was there. And human. Hello Kagome. My name is Izayoi. Do you know who I am?I have a pretty good guess.Hmm, I thought so. Her tone contradicted her words; her voice was surprised. She sounded like she was smiling. I hoped so.  
  
Am I going to meet anyone else while I'm waiting here?Quite possibly. I know for certain that I have brought someone with me, someone who wishes to speak with you desperately. Can you guess? I couldn't, and told her so. My father, maybe, but I somehow knew it wasn't him. I'd gotten to say goodbye to him, and I could sense he was at peace.  
  
Kagome, I would like to introduce you to someone. She's a youkai. Inuyasha's mother, Izayoi, paused with a telltale hint of mischief. When the silence had been long enough to prolong the suspense, she continued, She's a kitsune. In fact, I believe you know her son very well. For he is also your son, now.  
  
Shippou's mother.  
  
Hello, priestess. I must thank you, on behalf of my mate and myself, for taking such care of our little one. Her voice was smooth, calm and almost a purr. I couldn't see her anymore than I could see anything else, but I imagined she was very pretty. Long red hair, a sly grin and sparkling green eyes. Her pointed ears probably added to the playful aura she radiated in the darkness, and I could imagine clearly her thick, curved tail waving behind her in a slow, rhythmic toss. My name is Shuri. I've been watching over you since you first took in my son.Miko-sama, we have come to present you with what a few of us spirits have been gathering. Not much, and not enough to repay you for all you've done for us: Shuri and her mate, Inu-Taisho and myself, and many more. Close your eyes, miko-sama.  
  
I did as Izayoi asked. I admit to being more than slightly curious. Could whatever their gift was, could it save me? Bring me back or forward or somewhere other than this limbo I was trapped in? There was a tugging at my feet, and I felt Izayoi take my hand.  
  
I opened my eyes, and suddenly, I was back in the clearing, not in my injured body nor Inuyasha's arms but to the side, as a spectator. Like I was in the audience of a theatre, watching the performers on stage with baited breath for the ending to play out the way I wanted. Naraku stood off to the side, cackling and gazing upon the scene with near giddiness. Miroku and Sango clutched hands, the taijiya grasping my own hand, presumably cold and dead, in her free one. Kikyou and Sesshomaru flanked Inuyasha, each glaring over his hunched shoulders at my pale form lying in his haori sleeves. Shippou--poor little Shippou--curled up on my lap, his tiny frame shaking so violently I worried his little body would shatter. His shouts and cries reached my ears, blending in the air with another, deeper sound of grief.  
  
Inuyasha was sobbing, his forehead pressed against my own, and lips open in a drawn out call. Howls, gut-wrenching, drawing tears to my eyes, filled the cold, night air; I wanted to hold him. But I could only watch as Kikyou kept her distance, listening to his cries without a flicker of emotion. I glanced to my side, to Izayoi, to find her in tears as well.  
  
Kagome, we brought you here, because I wanted to show you how much my son, the foolish boy that he is, loves you despite how he acts. And now, our gift to you. She raised her arms, outstretched toward the painful scene and the light about her shimmered.  
  
The tugging on my feet returned, and I jerked my head down to stare at them in wonder. What on earth was happening?  
  
I couldn't hear anything over the grieving sobs, but I saw clearly the blood stained grass and clothing that were abruptly--miraculously--clean. Inuyasha didn't notice, but Sango did as the hand cradling mine was no longer drenched in the thick, crimson coating of dried blood. Her mouth dropped open, eyes staring blankly at the smooth, pale skin. Within moments, her head snapped up, twisting this way and that for just a glimpse of me. She could feel that I was there.  
  
The tugging grew stronger, like all of my soul was being pulled into the tip of a needle. Patches of sight blurred, interchanging with the sharper splotches until my vision disappeared altogether, and the tugging stopped. The last thing my consciousness recalled was Izayoi's whispered parting, I have come to love you as a daughter, Kagome-chan. Please, let my son know he is loved.  
  
I blinked, my eyes opening of their own accord.  
  
His golden eyes--filled with disbelief, filled with fear, filled with hope--gazed back into mine from just beyond the length of my nose.  
  
There was absolute silence following the utterance. His voice was broken from tears, echoing throughout the halting silence.  
  
Naraku's growl emanated from just to our left, and immediately the group raised their guard. Inuyasha meet the sound with a grumbling of his own, reverberating throughout my body; secure in his arms, he didn't seem to be loosening his grip any time soon.  
  
How is it possible?! You were dead! I fucking killed you! Naraku hissed, standing straighter, the bulging, green tentacles about him twitching with his annoyance. How the fuck are you alive? And unharmed?  
  
Good question. My lungs were healed, the hole in my uniform the only evidence I'd ever been hurt. How? Why?  
  
Was this the gift from Izayoi, Shuri, Inu-Taisho and Shippou's father? This was what they gave to me? How could they have done this? Not even Tenseiga could heal me. I _died!_ I remembered the light, the limbo I'd been trapped in so vividly, I remember the pain of the arrow.  
  
I shook my head. How didn't matter, why didn't matter. I was alive, I was breathing, and safe in Inuyasha's embrace.  
  
Whatever the reason, I was grateful.  
  
I took a deep breath, reaching down for the arrow Inuyasha had pulled from me earlier. I ignored Sango's gasp as I took my hand back from her grasp, bringing it up to where I knew Kikyou stood.  
  
Enough is enough.  
  
When the smooth wood of her bow touched the inside of my palm, I yanked it from her fingers and down to my level; I needed to aim. I needed to concentrate. I would not miss. I would not waste this gift given to me.  
  
I began, sitting up despite the restraining arms around me. You've done enough. I don't know how or why I'm here, alive, but I won't waste what was given to me. I made a promise. No more words. I notched the arrow instinctively, not taking the time to think over my actions; that would only mess up my aim which was more heart than head. Behind me I felt my hanyou hold his breath, I could hear the collective gasps and muttered prayers from my friends as I stretched back the string.  
  
I let my eyes close.  
  
The arrow flew, guided by my own soul, a worthier judge than sight. I knew the instant it hit flesh, I felt the burning through his soul. I refused to open my eyes until the moment the evil youki--that damn youki which plagued my life for the past two years--vanished in a burst of purity I suddenly, irrevocably knew to be my own.  
  
_Well done, Kagome-chan. Well done.  
  
Thanks, Izayoi-san. Thank you for everything.  
  
_It was over. At long, long last, Naraku was dead.  
  
I smiled, turned to face Inuyasha, and murmured quietly, Love you.  
  
Then I collapsed, spiritually, mentally, physically exhausted.  
  
But I was alive.  
  
The best part though?  
  
He was smiling.  
  
-------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
_The rain can't hurt me now  
This rain,  
Wash away what's passed. . .  
  
You're here,  
That's all I need to know  
And you will keep me safe  
And you will keep me close  
And rain will make the flowers grow. . .  
  
And rain will make the flowers grow. . .  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------  
  
_That's all folks. There may or may not be more of this, depends on what you guys think. And I only got a few reviews for the last chapter. . . .so I need to know what'cha think! The first chapter of Reincarnation is done, so go read it and tell me what you think of that too! Okay? Thanks! All you guys who reviewed so far, I LOVE YOU! THIS IS DEDICATED TO ALL OF YOU! THANKS SOOOOO MUCH!  
  
sniff This was so sad to write the first two chapters I just had to give it a happy ending. I love happy endings. . . I'll never write anything with a depressing ending. You can quote me on that too. Erm, okay, I'm rambling now. Just. . . enjoy, kay? AND REVIEW!


	4. Here's To You

Disclaimer: Don't own Inuyasha. Just this fanfic.  
  
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A Little Fall of Rain  
by Chione  
  
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There are only two times in my life when I've been honestly, truly jealous. The first was my tenth birthday. My childhood friend, Yuka, and I happened to have been born on the same day. We'd always celebrated our birthdays together, one big party for the two of us.  
  
But that year was different. It was kind of a tradition for the our fathers to escort us into the party at the very beginning. Sort of like what fathers do in western weddings. That year, as Yuka's father took her arm, gently, laughing at her excitement, I was forced to settle for Mom's hand on my arm, an apology in her eyes.  
  
My father was dead.  
  
And that was the first time I really understood what that meant. The first birthday without both parents.  
  
I got over it. I moved on, missed my father but accepted that he was gone. I don't get jealous about having a father anymore.  
  
The second time was--well, that should be obvious. The Inuyasha-Kikyou kiss I'd been so lucky to witness. I got over that too.  
  
I'm not really a jealous person. I like to think I'm not overly emotional either. Okay, so I'm happy a lot, and sad too, but I don't think anyone could call me moody.  
  
Except maybe Inuyasha, who has an obscure knack for getting on my nerves.  
  
I don't know quite what I expected when my eyes were finally back under my control, and I opened them to the outside world. I guess a little more than what I saw. Maybe I was hoping to see Kikyou huddling next to Inuyasha, the fire not providing her with enough warmth. I think I would've been jealous. Maybe I wanted to be back at Kaede's, and this whole experience have been a long, horrible dream. I would've been happy with that. Maybe I just wanted to see all my friends gathered around me, somehow knowing I would wake, all smiling and all of them happy at last. That, I know, would've made me ecstatic.  
  
Instead I got a big eyeful of spun gold, burning in the evening light and shifting with a variety of emotions--most of which I could put a name to. Inuyasha held his head barely a foot away from mine, gazing down at me, not quite smiling, but not sad either.  
  
That made me feel warm, sort of jittery.  
  
Only him. Only for him.  
  
I wanted suddenly to see all those things I missed while dead. To feel the water of a river or bath or hot spring, the wind in a large, open field of grass with nothing to obscure the sensation. I welcomed the strength returned to my arms, wishing I could leap upon my hanyou's back and race through the forest without a care. No more Naraku. No more Shikon shards.  
  
I grinned up at him, exalted and buzzing; still, my soul was weary, weighing my body down just enough to make sitting up a challenge. Not that Inuyasha let me. The moment he recognized my actions, his hands forced me back down by the arms, my head resting once more in his lap. I wanted to ask about the others. About Kikyou too, though I never really would.  
  
Where is everyone? I asked, hesitant to find out. They were fine when I kil--purified Naraku, but were they still? Had something happened in the meantime?  
  
Sleeping. You've been out for two days.  
  
Two days?  
  
He never took his eyes from me. They were neither soft, nor hard, and for once, I couldn't decipher his expression. What happened?  
  
I diverted my eyes. I died. Your mother, father, and Shippou's parents somehow brought me back. My nose burned, eyes drowning in tears of regret. I wanted so badly for Inuyasha to see his mom again. She loves you, very much.  
  
He was silent. Again that unknown look came to his face, and I tightened my grip, just noticing his hand in my own. I must have terrified him, with my death. He never holds my hand, unless I initiate it. Actually, he never does anything affectionate unless the other person starts it.  
  
Or unless he's frightened of losing them.  
  
  
  
I didn't pretend for a moment I couldn't understand his question. The broken, trembling tone was enough. After three years, I knew him better than anyone. Including Kikyou, who honestly only knew him for a season. A single, lonely season in which they fell in love with the idea of the other.  
  
I still wasn't not clear with my feelings on that subject. Best to avoid it. I was too tired to argue, to start another shouting match that would only serve to anger and drive us both away.  
  
I don't want you do die. I didn't then, and I would do everything all over again. I said, meeting his eyes to push my point into his head, which had an awful habit of forgetting I have free will. Don't reprimand me. Please, I'm tired. I don't want to argue now, and I shouldn't have to explain myself. You do plenty of stupid, reckless things that only chance kept you from dying.  
  
Keh, I'm a hanyou! I can take it, you can't! His initial response seemed more from routine than anything. Immediately, he scooped me up with his arms, forcing me up against the rough fur of his haori; it brushed my cheek as he breathed, chest rising and falling rapidly. Don't you ever, ever do that again, hear me bitch? Don't. I was worried about you, damn it! I don't want you to die for me. Not ever. His voice grated over the sobs in his throat, not escaping his lips but wearing themselves out in the back of his mouth. Now that I was safe, he couldn't cry for me. Not aloud, not openly.  
  
Inside I could feel him wracked with sorrow and relief.  
  
I'm sorry for worrying you. That's all I could say. I wasn't sorry for dying, not to save him. But I also couldn't breathe. His claws clung to my back, my breasts squashed up against him, and his nose buried in the crook of my neck. Each breathe seared the delicate skin there, and I wished he'd let me go and silently begged him not to. I was alive. His arms were around me and I was safe from the world.  
  
Red clad legs came up from their crisscrossed position to pin me against him with his knees at my back and side. The raking heartbeat in his chest pounded into mine, both the same frantic pace. He was terrified. Still. I could only weave my hands through his hair, occasionally reaching up to trace the edges of his ears lightly. Anything to reassure him.  
  
he breathed, three syllables that sounded so perfect with his gruff voice. He so rarely called me that tenderly.  
  
Somehow I knew he'd be saying it a lot more often.  
  
Thank you.  
  
I buried my nose in his crook of his shoulder, happy to know he appreciated what I'd done.  
  
Are you happy? I asked. I had to know. This breath in my lungs, was a gift. A precious gift that I would never again take for granted. So for the rest of my life, however long, I was going to do my damnedest to accomplish those things I wanted as I died. Naraku is dead. The Shikon no Tama is complete. Kikyou is alive, relatively, though I kept that to myself, and you can become a youkai if you wish now. Or a human, if that is what you chose. Our journey is over. Are you happy?  
  
Every muscle in his body tensed. Just as the shiny silver of his hair seemed to coil in his abrupt strain. I ran the very tips of my fingers across the base of his little, fuzzy ears. Like all those relaxing exercises in my theatre class--the one I was never there for--his whole body melted. From the twitching muscles in his ears, flowing down as a wavering shudder passed all the way to his claw-tipped toes.  
  
Are you happy, Inuyasha?  
  
Not yet. I almost protested, but his own lips sank down to mine in a brief, gentle kiss, and he continued, not an inch's breadth from my face, But I will be.  
  
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OKay folks, that's all for now. I've finally decided what to do with this, so just know that this is not the end. There will be approx. two more chapters till the end. And I went back and revised last chapter's ending cause a lot of people seemed to think Kagome died again. She didn't she was just exhausted physically, spiritually and mentally. But all will be explained in the last two installments of this.  
  
Feedback makes the world go round and chapters come out faster. All is welcome, though flames are discouraged for the simple fact that they are disrespectful. If you don't like this, please tell me but tell me why and be polite. That's all I ask.  
  
THANK YOU READERS AND REVIEWERS! I LOVE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU! YOU ARE SIMPLY DIVINE!


	5. And Here's to Me

A Little Fall of Rain  
by Chione  
  
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_Even Kikyou-onee-sama's powerful soul,  
_ _couldn't win against Kagome._  
_This child is...  
_ _isn't just any old reincarnation.  
  
I am the only one who can purify Naraku and completely remove him from this world.  
  
------------------------  
_  
I was lost. Not literally, of course, my feet knew exactly where they were. Not surprisingly, through my travels for the Shikon shards, I'd gained a very keen sense of direction. Particularly in the wilderness. I may not be able to find my way in modern Japan, but the past? I knew it without thinking. Without trying.  
  
It wasn't my heart, either, for once; that knew where it wanted to be: precisely where it was, not necessarily safe but welcome, in the clawed grip of my inu hanyou.  
  
My _mind_ was lost. How do you dedicate your life so thoroughly to one thing--or two even--and then go on after it's accomplished? For so long, I'd been consumed by the quest for the shards, to defeat Naraku. Somehow, I couldn't grasp that it was over. I kept expecting to hear Inuyasha's voice demanding I get a move on, and then follow after him for days on end in search of a rumored jewel fragment.  
  
I never would again.  
  
So what, then? Where was I supposed to go? What was I supposed to do?  
  
Logically, I knew there was still a year left of school for me to complete. But that was silly logic at best. The truth was glaringly obvious in the steady decline in my test scores; I'd been gone too much, too many times, too often. I'd never catch up to my class starting so late.  
  
School was lost to me too. I couldn't bring myself to feel sad. It was all so trivial! How _could_ I go back? I had _died_. I had _killed_! I had faced down the purest form of evil known to man or youkai, many times, and survived. Well, in the end I did.  
  
As much as I loved them, Yuka-chan, Eri-chan, Ayumi-chan, Hojou-kun, they would never understand me again.  
  
And somewhere along the line, that became okay. I mourned the lose of our close friendship, but it was all right. Because I had my friends and family here, in the Sengoku Jidai, who did understand me. Who experienced everything with me.  
  
And because I had Inuyasha.  
  
Oi, Kagome! What the hell are you doing?! Inuyasha shouted at me. I was waiting for that, actually. Hoping he'd come to find me. You're not supposed to be out of bed, dammit! Or have you already forgotten that you--that you--  
  
He couldn't say it, but we both heard it in the silence anyway.  
  
I know. I just wanted some air, it's hard to get that in the hut. Besides, I'm healed. The only reason I collapsed was from the drain, really, I'm fin--  
  
He cut me off. You're _not _fine! You--you fucking _died_!  
  
He said it, and suddenly it was real, it was tangible between us. For three days we'd avoided the topic, me mostly sleeping and him mostly quiet. No more. We couldn't keep dodging the words like it hadn't happened.  
  
I wanted to tear that look off his face. Make him see why, comfort him. Maybe once, I thought he saw me as only a shard detector, but that was so long ago, and I knew that even if he loved Kikyou, he cared for me too. I'd scared him, it was understandable.  
  
I couldn't bare it if our roles were switched, and _he_ died.  
  
Yes. I did. To save you, but now I'm alive again. Naraku is defeated, we've got the Shikon no Tama, and everything is the way it should be again. So there's nothing to worry about, I won't die again. Not for a while, anyway. I'll be old, gray-haired and wrinkly just like Kaede and I'll die nice and snugly in my bed, surrounded by my family. That's a long way off. I just wanted him to stop looking at me like that. During the speech, I'd taken steps, bolder with each one, until we stood nose to nose, my head tilted up, and his down.  
  
His voice turned hard, barking out the words through a trembling jaw. Don't even-- he paused, arduous breathes pumping in and out of his chest. Don't trivialize this, dammit! Don't pretend it didn't happen! You can't do that! You can't go and jump in front of me like that! You were _dead!_  
  
I didn't want to get angry. Deep, full breaths helped, but only some. I tried so hard to keep calm; I hadn't been angry since that day. We hadn't argued, and I dreaded the return to our usual routine. How could I blame him for being worried? I couldn't, I always worried. But he was always so reckless! Always protecting me without thought to his injuries and he scolds me for trying to do the same for him!  
  
I begged, Please don't fight with me. Not now. I'm so sorry for making you worry, and I'm sorry that I died because I didn't want to--  
  
You better not of!  
  
--and I really just want to relax and enjoy the peace and quiet. My eyes began to mist, and I knew that was the end. I tried never to use it against him, his fear of my tears, and this time I hadn't meant to start crying. Still, he'd forgive me anything if it'd prevent me from crying.  
  
He grumbled, but conceded, burying his head in the curve of my neck. He took deep breaths to calm down, and reassure himself that I was all right. I let him, wrapping my arms around him. The day was beautiful, the air was fresh and clean, and I could freely breathe in the scent that was uniquely him; woods, something deep and musky, and the slight undertone of spices--cinnamon, I think.  
  
That was what I wanted. Peace, quiet, and Inuyasha.  
  
Quite the paradox, ne?  
  
  
  
I didn't want to pull away, or turn around and face the woman I knew entered the clearing. I couldn't deny my curiosity about her absence; after all, Naraku was defeated. Why hadn't she drug Inuyasha to Hell?  
  
Not that I was complaining.  
  
Inuyasha, you fool. His body stiffened in my arms, his breath no longer brushing my neck as he held it. Letting your guard down just because my reincarnation thinks she destroyed Naraku.  
  
Once again, the world stopped.  
  
I lived a life where surprises were a given. Shock, despair, hopelessness, even hatred had become things I understood too well. On any number of occasions, I'd felt my lungs constrict to the point of not being able to take in air, and many a time I've felt as if the world had slowed to a stop just to drag out my pain.  
  
I wanted to scream.  
  
He pulled away to face her. Kikyou. What the fuck is that supposed to mean?  
  
Her lips twisted in a partial smile, nearly a smirk save for her expressionless, gray eyes; they were so similar to my own, yet so different. I hated seeing them. Exactly what I said. I've told you before, Inuyasha. Only _I_ can defeat Naraku. He is still alive, still plotting against you and me. The girl did a good job, she managed to weaken him. But only I can remove his evil from this world completely. Only me.  
  
Inuyasha gaped, eyes narrowing and flicking frantically back and forth between us.  
  
My week, which had been bad from the start--namely, with my death--was abruptly so much worse. He doubted me because of Kikyou. He discounted the disappearance of Miroku's Kazanaa, the purification and complete of the Shikon, the deaths of Kagura and Kanna, and the release and inevitable death of Kohaku. From her words alone.  
  
I got mad.  
  
I stepped forward, no longer willing to wait in the shadows for Inuyasha and Kikyou to resolve their issues. This involved me too, and I knew, really and truly _knew--_beyond any doubt--that Naraku was dead. Gone. And not from arrogance, nor jealousy did I know; I couldn't feel the same evil overshadowing the past as it always had from the moment I stepped through the well. Even during the short period of the Kaguya incident, when we believed Naraku to be dead, the world hadn't felt this way. I felt my powers destroy him. It'd haunt me, and reassure me, for the rest of my days.  
  
I would defend myself.  
  
Kikyou, whether you believe it or not, Naraku is gone. I don't know why you think you're the only one who could've taken him out for good, but you're wrong.  
  
You are an arrogant fool. Naraku could never be destroyed by the likes of you. Without any proper training, especially. she said. Don't assume.  
  
Immediately that old saying popped in my head. You know what assuming does. Makes an ass' out of u' and I was sure I wasn't assuming. I had nothing to back up my stance, nothing to prove Naraku was really gone. Only his continued absence, which was only something viewed in time. Kikyou, on the other hand, had doubt. That lingering, festering leech attaching itself to Inuyasha's--and thus everyone else's--thoughts, never letting go. It'd make us all paranoid, and he'd spend the rest of his life looking over his shoulder, or following a trail that wasn't there.  
  
All because of her words.  
  
Kikyou, do you know for sure Naraku is still alive? Have you seen him, spoken to him, anything? Inuyasha begged, a growl permeating in his voice. Was he that confused?  
  
Could he still not make up his mind?  
  
I could feel that doubt, eating away at the back of my mind, having snuck in the back gate. Was I really so sure? How could I be? What if she was right? We couldn't risk ignoring it.  
  
Even if I failed, at least-- I steadied myself, gathering my confidence to do what I had planned, at least we have the jewel. And we can purify it. Naraku, if he's still alive, can never have it again. With that, I tore the jewel from it's place around my neck, bringing it out in front of me so both of them could see it.  
  
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Just a short, quick edit to make myself happy.  
  
Okay, so sorry bout just leaving it there but I'm stuck and don't wanna risk writing more and it not being very good quality. Actually, I'm not happy with the chapter as a whole, but it's the best I could get for now. I've got so much to do this week, I won't get another chance to update for a while, and felt bad, so I finished this and put it out.  
  
Thanks for all the wonderful reviews and support! I love you guys! Please give me feedback, review!  
  
REVIEW PLEASE!  
  
Chione  
  
P.s. REVIEW!  
  
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